Ok, so you’ve got it all together. Homies gathered. Bud delivered from one of the 11 best marijuana apps and Leafly alternatives. Pizza ordered. Bong loaded.
…so what do you talk about?
Here’s a list of deep high questions that should really get the stoner thoughts going. These questions to ask when high should get the conversation going, or at least get a laugh.
30. When you light your lighter, it gets lighter.
And then after too many lights, it will be too light to light.
29. Why is it that “you’re a peach” is good but “your bananas” is bad?
Is there some kinda hierarchy on what fruit is good and which is bad? Where does a grape stand in all of this? Can you be an apple of any other body part than an eye?
28. Space is like, really really big. How many asteroids out there do you think are shaped like dicks?
It’s gotta be out there, right? Are there any boob-shaped nebulas? Some real ass-teriods? Space is really big, it has to be there. I want to believe.
27. What if there were like Tinder but for stoner buddies?
I’m tired of dating. I just wanna meet someone to smoke and chill with. It should list favorite movies, music, and video games. Also preferred smoking method: glass or paper. And favorite strain.
26. Does my dog like to lick me because he knows there are bones inside me?
I used to think this was a sign of love, but now I’m starting to get paranoid.
25. How much more do you think dispensaries would sell if they allowed self-checkout?
Like man, I don’t know how much more I would buy if I didn’t have to talk to someone to get it. They should stock munchies too. And bongs. Make it a one-stop-stoner shop.
24. When I was in DARE, they always used to say weed was more potent than it was in the 70’s. Was that meant to encourage us?
Why did they always include that fact? Was that supposed to be an advertisement that weed had gotten better? Or was that to make our parents feel ok that they had smoked pot and we now shouldn’t? DARE was so confusing.
23. What do you think the world will smell like when electric vehicles become common?
Like, car exhaust has a smell. What would cities smell like if that wasn’t there?
22. Do you think the Batmobile has insurance?
Come to think of it, I don’t think Wonder Woman’s invisible jet has insurance either…
21. What if God was high when he was making the platypus?
Seriously, it’s a mammal that sweats out milk, lays eggs, and is venomous. What was God doing when he made this thing?
20. Did we domesticate cats or did they just decide to become our pets?
Cuz, like, I know so many people who just had cats walk in their house and they just went “Ok, guess I have a cat now.”
19. What if instead of thinking of myself as a hoarder, I consider myself a very successful pirate?
My therapist says it’s important to positively reframe things.
18. Do my pets know I’m high?
My cats always look so judgemental, do they know? Does my dog get excited when I get munchies?
17. I wonder if people who speak different languages snore differently.
Like maybe people who speak Spanish have more of a rising snore than people who speak English.
16. Does my Myers’-Briggs type change if I take the test high?
Would I even be able to remember the letters?
